Social Media & The Illusion of Familiarity
It’s no surprise that social media has revolutionized the way we connect with people. One like, one comment, or one direct message can be all it takes to get in touch with someone across the globe. It’s a space where you can create an identity for yourself based on who you choose to be. You have the ability and freedom to follow or interact with anyone, even celebrities.
“Social media is the ultimate equalizer. It gives a voice and a platform to anyone willing to engage.” — Amy Jo Martin, Founder, and CEO of Digital Royalty
Social media platforms such as Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook garner users in the millions. We can assume that the average social media user is on more than one of these platforms, I know I am! Today, I wanted to discuss and reflect on something that I couldn’t help but notice. Considering that social media gives you access to so many people at once, it’s fairly easy to assume that you are close with your followers. If you aren’t familiar with social media and its inner workings — followers and likes are a system by which users interact with the content of one another.
Listen, all of these features are helpful and serve a purpose, but today I want to address how it’s these very features that lead to a certain impression. One that I believe can create the illusion of familiarity. The intimacy that following someone provides is extraordinary. A simple follow gives you a peek into someone’s life…well at least the parts they decide to share. At times, you can’t help but feel like through a person's stories, posts, and prior interactions you might know them. You can go as far as to assume that you are “friends”.
As a creator, I’ve garnered a following on a couple of social media platforms over the years; I’ve encountered people who assume that, based on the factors I’ve listed previously that we are friends. And while I’m genuinely flattered that my work, my voice, or my presence resonates enough to create that sense of closeness, I’m also very intentional about friendships. Friendship, to me, requires shared context, mutual investment, and time lived not just time observed. Appreciation and support can exist without entitlement to access, and admiration doesn’t automatically translate to intimacy. I value real connection deeply, which is exactly why I’m careful about how and with whom I build it. Social media may open a window, but it doesn’t replace the door that only intentional, reciprocal relationships can walk through.
It’s possible that you or someone you follow feels the same way I do about social media and the illusion of familiarity it can create at times. Take a moment to reflect on this, and remember that a follow doesn’t automatically mean a friendship.
A Word From the Author
This piece isn’t written from a place of judgment, but from reflection. Social media has the power to connect us in meaningful ways, yet it can also blur the lines between access and intimacy. My hope is that this encourages more mindful engagement, respect for boundaries, and appreciation for connection without assumption.
